# Friendship and Conceptlessness

Many would be surprised to find that I reject many of the standard categoriztions of relationships. While this may seem odd at first, it is in keeping with my personal philosophy and manner of thinking about many other topics. Additionally, cultures do not all see relationships in the same way and there are different categories in different nations, and the meaning and expectations of the relationships between types differ. 

It would be a mistake to take the approach of one culture rather than take the approach of one's surrounding culture, for obvious reasons. But all that amounts to is making sure one has the ability to meet the expectations of others in day to day relationship related behavior.

One can still think in ways that are more sophisticated, and more accurate, than in the ways that were prepared in advance, in a simple way, for us in our own environment.

It would be a stretch to say there is a common understanding of *any* relationship concept in the various cultures, so it must be admitted, that what we think a relationship is, is very much defined for us. This connects with our ideas about what moral behavior consists of in the various relationships, but then we need to recognize even this is just a cultural construct.

While I'm interested in this topic, as usual, I need to use the opportunity to introduce the reader to other concepts I think are more useful and important in connection with my other writings, especially in preparation for the more important papers that are forthcoming.

It is possible to think of relationships in a way that does not commit to the actual words in question. The simplest relationship to start with to understand what I mean is the idea of a friend.

I reject the idea of a friend as ambiguous and unnecessary. Nevertheless I admit that I adopt this vague term in practice because it is necessary for others. 

What does this do for us:

* It allows us to not worry about whether or not someone is categorized as a friend or not any longer, and therefore there is no need for attachment to the categorization of a person. People really do fret over whether or not they should classify someone as a friend or an acquantance, when there is no reason for either of the concepts if instead we just refrain from applying a summary concept and stick to the description of the relationship itself, including the apparent rules of interaction, expectations, the feelings involved, and the history and future. This way, one comes to a meticulous and detailed understanding of the relationship, in a way that is more observant, and one does not get stuck into whether or not a person is a friend, or whether or not the friend remains a "best friend" and so on. Really these are very ambiguous and unsystematically developed concepts that have been handed to us, and many of us are stuck thinking in these terms not realizing how it stifles us and creates sadness at times about nothing. 
* It allows us to think more meticulously.
* It allows us to become more observant.
* Potentially, we can get better at categorizing various types in ways that goes beyond what was handed down to us, if we ever find we have a need for categoriztion.
* We can enter into conceptlessness, where instead of accepting any particular word or description, we are willing to consider manifold perspectives and interpretations/translations instead, and are willing to substitute others for the ones that we prefer, should they have characteristics that tease out the truth or provide more useful/instrumental ways of thinking. We are willing to see the approach taken by another culture to the same relations.
* We can get past our own culturally instilled way of looking at relations, while simultaneously recognizing the necessity of acting in accordance with existing rules for the sake of others who could not possibly take action based on the same information. As an example, while I do not think of relationships in terms of friendship, if a person who would normally be considered a friend feels that I am their friend, I would not reject their categorization and I would unhesitatingly tell them that I feel the same about them. However, this would be a concession of sorts because ultimately I see it as a primitive worldview. And I can have a more complex worldview that is more detailed and one that casts aside these cherished concepts without devaluing the relationship at all. More importantly, by doing so I become more observant about the nature of the relationship and I can see the relationship more clearly, which is something that you would want from someone who actually cares about their relationship with you.

There isn't too much to the idea that relationships do not need to be categorized quite the way that we categorize them. Stepping back from these concepts to look meticulously at them in an observant way, substituting paragraphs and sentences for single words. 

We'll see this idea coming up again and again, and perhaps there is a better term for it, but I see it as conceptlessness, becasue there is no commitment to any particular single concept or set of concepts to summarily describe anything whatsoever, and that all phenomena are so complex that it is better to abandon any particular word, phrase or sentence, for longer phrases and sentences and paragraphs and books to characterize the same more accurately. It is accepting that sophistication results in more knowledge and informaiton and not less.
